Self-Introduction
Dear Professor Brad Blackstone
I am Nurul Atiqah Binte Mohamed Amin and I am a year one student
from your technical communications one module. You can simply address me as
Atiqah. I am currently pursuing a degree in telematics (intelligent
transportation systems engineering) at Singapore Institute of Technology (SIT).
I graduated from Singapore Polytechnic (SP) with a diploma in computer
engineering, specializing in networking and systems.
My interest in Information Technology (IT) grew as I watched my
father pursue a career in the IT sector as a Senior IT Officer. As a child, he
would bring me along to work and from there, I would see how hard he worked. He would briefly describe to me the work he was doing and allow me to
try if it was simple. Through that, I decided to pursue a diploma in computer
engineering. However, IT is a very broad field. After much consideration, I
decided to pursue a degree in telematics as a challenge of trying something new
but still something close to my diploma.
Moving on to my communication strengths, I am confident in
communicating effectively with others. When I was in secondary three, I was
given the opportunity to be the Director of Co-Curricular Activities (CCA) in
the school’s executive committee. During meetings, I had to be able to present
my ideas effectively as well as give constructive feedback to others. This
experience gave me the confidence I need to communicate well with others and
focus on my choice of words.
However, despite being able to communicate effectively, I am
unable to speak to a large group. I will need the help of cue cards to refer to
so that I will not stutter during presentations. I do have the tendency to say
unnecessary information as well if not given a cue card.
Therefore, I hope to sharpen the skill sets that I have to
further improve myself as well as to improve on my weakness, which is speaking
to a large group. I look forward to learning from you over the remaining weeks.
Thank you.
Yours Sincerely
Nurul Atiqah
Hi Atiqah! Your points are conveyed smoothly and overall it is interesting. However there are some points that you can take note of such as some minor errors within your sentence structure. In paragraph 2, instead of "how hard he worked" you can replace with "how hard he had worked". In the last line of 4th paragraph, instead of writing "if not given a cue card", you can write it as "if i am not given a cue card". I believe you can do it and i look forward to helping one another improve our communication skills as a team!
ReplyDeleteDear Rycca,
DeleteThank you so much for taking the time to read my letter of introduction and giving me feedback. The feedback gave me insights on what can be improved on.
I look forward to working with you as well!
Kind Regards,
Atiqah
Hello Atiqah, flow of your email was smooth and great effort to link your pointers together such as how your background story is part of the reason for choosing telematics. Sentence structure has minor errors. Interesting story and I look forward to help each other to not only improve our communication but to also to eliminate the fear for speaking in public.
ReplyDeleteDear Sean,
DeleteThank you for taking the time to read my letter of introduction as well as giving me feedback! Your letter of introduction was interesting too. I especially liked the part where you mentioned your hobby of building 4WD cars.
I look forward to working together with you in class.
Kind Regards,
Atiqah
Dear Atiqah,
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad to meet you and be able to read your introduction. I felt like it was smooth and well written. There was some minor queries in regards to the sentence structure and also the capitalization of some wordings. Ex. "Technical Communications 1" could be replaced with "technical communications one".
What I understood is when we have the numbers one to nine, we will usually type it out, when it is 10 and beyond, the numbers will usually be written. I hope this is a good tip for you too. I'm glad to read through your introduction and I look forward to seeing you in class coming weeks to progress together.
Warmest Regards,
Josephine
Dear Josephine,
DeleteThank you for taking the time to read my letter of introduction. It was a pleasure to meet you as well. Thank you for reminding me about the format of writing numbers below 10. I have forgotten that and have been using just the number itself instead of spelling it out. I will take note of that from now on.
Let's work together and help one another improve on our weaknesses.
Kind Regards,
Atiqah
Dear Aitqah,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this fairly well crafted reflection. I appreciate the concrete details you provide as you reflect on who you are, why you are interested in telematics, and what your strengths and weaknesses are. I espcially like the way you describe your childhood trips to your father's workplace and the role that experience played.
While your language use in this letter is fluent, there are a few areas that can be revised:
1. sentence structure
-- Through this experience, it gave me the confidence I need to communicate well with others and focus on my choice of words. >>> This experience gave me the confidence I need to communicate well with others and focus on my choice of words.
2. punctuation
-- as well as to improve on my weakness which is speaking to a large group.
>>> (missing comma) ?
see https://www.thepunctuationguide.com/comma.html
3. verb issues
-- I will need the help of cue cards to refer to so that I would not stutter during presentations. >>> (inconsistent verb tense usage)
I appreciate the effort made in this first draft and in any revision, and I look forward to reading more from you this term.
Cheers,
Brad
Dear Professor Blackstone
DeleteThank you for taking the time off to read my letter of introduction. I really appreciate the constructive feedback you gave. I will work on further improving my usage of language and weakness in communicating effectively.
Kind Regards
Atiqah